In order to know if a person of your circle of acquaintances is manipulative, I suggest you making the following test, by counting the number of corresponding criteria.
1. In order to seduce you, the manipulative person flatters and shows herself caring.
2. She presents itself as a victim.
3. She makes feel guilty others by invoking the family link, the friendship or love.
4. She reminds you at every opportunity the favor which she rendered you even if several years have elapsed.
5. She intimidates by threatening or by exercising some blackmail.
6. She criticizes unjustly, demeans and judges.
7. She gets excited easily, utters insults and roars.
8. She ignores the rights, the needs and the desires of others.
9. She often refuses to respect rules and laws. (1)
10. She knows how to bend the rules to her advantage.
11. It is an immature, possessive and self-centered person.
12. She does not take into account requests of others while she claims to look after it.
13. She tends to wait for the last moment to formulate her demands.
14. She requires that you answer immediately her demands.
15. Most of the time, she does not answer clearly.
16. Like a chameleon, she adapts her language, her opinions and her behavior according to the people or the situations.
17. She takes pleasure to create conflicts and to sow the suspicion.
18. She preaches the wrong to know the truth.
19. She utters lies permanently.
20. Her acts are not in accordance with her speeches.
21. She uses the ignorance of others to persuade in her superiority and so value her image.
22. She uses people having moral principles to serve her own interests.
23. She tries to reach her purposes to the detriment of others.
24. She assimilates others to puppets which she knows how to use even to transmit her own messages.
25. She offloads her responsibilities on others.
26. She supports no critic and denies the obvious facts.
27. She refuses to recognize her wrongs.
28. She flees when she feels in difficulties, in any situation.
29. She is always late but does not like waiting.
30. She is generally envious.
31. Her attitudes generate concerns, anguishes and sadness.
32. By exercising a control over your life, she deprives you of freedom.
33. She pushes you to make things of which you would never have to think to carry out.
34. She tells you rarely or never the word "thank you". (2)
35. She never congratulates you.
36. She makes a lot speak about her even in her absence.
(1) She has her own rules which change according to her interests.
(2) The words of politeness are not a part of her repertoire, but she knows how to use them with the outside people to maintain her irreproachable image.
If the person whom you suspect of being manipulative corresponds in at least 10 of these characteristics, have no more doubt, you unmasked her ! Congratulations !!
Article written by Cristina Casado Belmonté
Article "Survive family hell" :
The perversity of my father (Annex 1) :
The demancia of my mother (Annex 2)
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/the-demencia-of-my-mother.html
Live with a narcissistic perverse husband (Annex 3) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/the-perversity-of-my-husband.html
My elder son : successor of manipulators (annex 4) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/my-elder-son-successor-of-manipulators.html
My youngest son : successor of tyrant (annex 5)
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2018/11/my-youngest-son-successor-of-tyrant.html
My methods of safeguarding to protect my psyche (annex 6) :
To free itself from the influence of the manipulators (annex 7) :
When the sport becomes a real therapy ! (annex 9) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2018/10/when-the-sport-becomes-a-real-therapy.html
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