The extreme possessiveness of my father cut us, my mother and I, gradually of the society. I never knew really why my mother did not resume her work after my birth. Was it its choice or the will of my father ? What I am only sure, is that from then on, she stayed in the home to take care of me and put herself in the service of my father.
Shortly after her marriage, my mother fell into a hallucinatory psychosis punctuated with depressive episodes. It is during the hospitalization which took place a few years later than a first treatment was prescribed to her. After the departure of the psychiatrist which followed my mother during several years, her general practitioner took over. When a medical psychological center was created in the city of residence of my parents, I suggested to my father to accompany my mother there so that she is taken care by specialists, but he never followed up on my proposal.
My mother became withdrawn more and more in her house which became her universe, cut any relation with her family of origin and crossed periods of acute delirious crises when she decided to interrupt her treatment.
For my part, my father, who shared my bed during eleven years (1), at the initiative and with the consent of my mother, imposed me of numerous prohibitions (2) which she never opposed (3).
When I was a child, my father never accepted that I participate in the tours and in the school stays. I was not either authorized to visit school friends nor to receive them at the house. Outside the school environment, I had no playmate. Having spent my childhood in a farm, to feel me less alone, I tamed animals which became my friends, and looked for escapism by taking refuge in the reading. So isolated, I became a shy, reserved and timorous child. In order not to take the risk of losing the affection of my father, I was the "model little daughter", wise and obedient whom he wanted whom I got (4) and could never make my adolescent crisis.
I discovered on the occasion of my work of personal development with my first psychotherapist that I had blocked any desire in me. As soon as I showed of the attachment (to a school friend, an aunt), my father stripped me of it (5) systematically, so depriving me of the pleasure as these moments of happiness could get me (6). My pain was so intense as I learnt progressively not to express anymore desires not to upset the sadism of my father. My tendency not to allow me moments of pleasure or happiness is probably due to the fact that they were forbidden to me from my earliest childhood.
When I knew my first sentimental relation, while I was a young adult, my father opposed it strongly and I was more deprived of freedom (7)! From then on, dispaired, I lost the desire to live and sank into the anorexia. My weight fell and I weaken considerably. I was saved by a cousin of my mother who, seeing me declining and inhibiting me considerably on the psychomotor plan, accompanied me to go to consult a doctor neuropsychiatrist. As my psychic and physiological health did not stop degrading, he decided to make me hospitalize in medical nursing home situated in mountain far from my parents.
It is during this hospitalization that I met the man that I was going to marry (8) a few months later, not to be forced to return to the parental home.
My marriage allowed me to go away geographically. During the first years, my parents succeeded all the same in invading me of their presence (9), often at the request of my husband. Afterward, I happened not see them during a whole year even two consecutive years, what led me to think naively that my father could evolve maybe with time positively (10). Unfortunately, in spite of love and patience which we can offer them, the narcissistic perverts do not change ! At first, because they are proud and satisfied of what they are at the bottom of themselves ; everybody is stupid, except them. Then, because their system of thought is locked in front of the self-criticism ; they are perfected, the problem always comes from others. (11) According to him, my father was always right and acted "for my own good". Regularly, he boasted to sacrifice himself for me : « with all that I made for you !» he often told me. He gave itself the image of a perfect man !!
The people outside the family unit were entitled to the extremely generous and nice mask (12) of seduction of my father, whereas my mother and myself, his victims, lived the company of destruction, and knew his real gloomy, cruel and inconceivable face for the first ones. (13)
Over the years, the narcissistic perversity of my father caused important damages on my psychic health (14), what had enormous repercussions throughout my life.
(1) "The incest is probably the cruelest, the most perverse human experience. It’s a betrayal of the most basic trust between a child and a parent. It’s emotionally destructive." translated from french : "L'inceste est sans doute l'expérience humaine la plus cruelle, la plus perverse. C'est la trahison de la confiance la plus élémentaire entre enfant et parent. C'est destructeur sur le plan émotionnel." (Cf. Susan Forward avec Craig Buck, Parents toxiques, Comment échapper à leur emprise, p. 157, Nouvelles Éditions Marabout, 2013, traducido del americano : Toxic parents : overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life, Batam Books, New York, 1989)
(2) "The sense of guilt takes all its strength as soon as it crosses a threshold bounded by the interiorization, in the superego, of the parental rights which forbids and condemns." translated by french : "Le sentiment de culpabilité prend toute sa force dès qu'il franchit un seuil délimité par l'intériorisation, dans le surmoi, de l'autorité parentale qui interdit et condamne." (Cf. Dictionnaire de psychanalyse [Dictionary of psychoanalysis]. Encyclopædia Universalis)
"(..) The guilt feeds on an anger which was not able in its time to be expressed against the aggressive person, simply because this anger saw its completely forbidden expression, on pain for the child to lose love of his parents nevertheless not respectful of his person and his needs. This anger is thus totally blocked inside the individual, who is afraid of any movement from him which could be similar to an open demonstration of anger." translated from french : "(..) la culpabilité se nourrit d'une colère qui n'a pu en son temps être exprimée à l'encontre de la personne agressive, tout simplement parce que cette colère a vu son expression complètement interdite, sous peine pour l'enfant de perdre l'amour de ses parents pourtant non respectueux de sa personne et de ses besoins. Cette colère est donc totalement bloquée à l'intérieur de l'individu, qui a peur de tout mouvement de sa part qui pourrait s'apparenter à une manifestation ouverte de colère." (Cf. Petites violences ordinaires. La violence psychologique en famille, Yvane Wiart, p. 59, Éd. Le Courrier du Livre, Paris, 2011)
"The underground influence of such a parent will continue in adulthood. The propensity for guilt is one of the most frequently observed consequences. The confusion between what is right to do and what is wrong sets in. The fear of displeasing too." translated from french : "L'influence souterraine d'un tel parent va perdurer à l'âge adulte. La propension à la culpabilité est l'une des conséquence les plus fréquemment observées. La confusion entre ce qu'il est bien de faire ou pas s'installe. La peur de déplaire également." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 77, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
"The tyrant father : this is the dictator father. Some are loudmouths (...) Others are cold monsters who don't say word. When you're a child, this type of father is incapacitating. Freud describes them as castrating fathers." translated from french : "Le père tyran : c'est le père dictateur. Certains sont des gueulards (...) D'autres sont des monstres froids qui ne pipent mot. Quand on est enfant, ce type de père est invalidant. Freud les décrit comme étant des pères castrateurs." (Cf. Savoir gérer les relations toxiques, Christophe Médici, p. 44, Éditions Dangles, 2015)
(3) "But there’s another player in the family drama who must share some of the responsibility. This is the parent who permits the abuse to happen out of his or her own fears, dependency, or need to maintain the family’s status quo. This parent is the passive abuser." translated from french : "Il y a un autre acteur dans le drame familial à qui revient une part de responsabilité. C'est le parent qui laisse perpétrer l'abus, par peur, par dépendance ou par besoin de maintenir le statu quo familial. Ce parent est coupable d'abus passifs." (Cf. Susan Forward avec Craig Buck, Parents toxiques, Comment échapper à leur emprise , p. 144, Nouvelles Éditions Marabout, 2013, traducido del americano : Toxic parents : Overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life, Batam Books, New York, 1989)
''In truth, the most toxic people (a) for oneself are often the ones we have met in the early years of our lives. At that time, we were totally dependent on others and our means of defence were still very weak." translated from french : "À la vérité, les personnes les plus toxiques (a) pour soi sont souvent celles que l'on a côtoyées durant les premières années de notre vie. À cette période, nous étions totalement dépendants des autres et nos moyens de défense étaient encore très faibles." (Cf. Savoir gérer les relations toxiques, Christophe Médici, p. 45, Éditions Dangles, 2015)
(a) These toxic people "are among the most incapacitating". translated from french : Ces personnes toxiques "sont parmi les plus invalidantes". (Cf. Ibid. p. 99)
(4) "A manipulative parent will encourage his child to be appreciated by others (whatever his needs) more than necessary. On the one hand, it serves his image of good parent. On the other hand, the child becomes more malleable and exploitable at will." translated from french : "Un parent manipulateur incitera son enfant à se faire apprécier des autres (quelque soient ses besoins) plus que nécessaire. D'une part, cela sert son image de bon parent. D'autre part, l'enfant devient plus malléable et exploitable à souhait." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 19, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
(5) In the cases of ill-treatment, needs and feelings of the children have no importance and are not taken into account by their parents.
"I think my propensity not to indulge me pleasures comes from this type of episode. In a few seconds, the shock neutralizes your sense of joy. That was the goal ! You are not going to live in happiness without him (she) being the source or he (she) having control (...)»" translated from french : "« Je pense que ma propension à ne pas m'octroyer de plaisirs provient de ce type d'épisode. En quelques secondes, le choc neutralise votre sentiment de joie. C'était le but ! Vous n'allez tout de même pas vivre du bonheur sans qu'il (elle) en soit la source ou qu'il (elle) en ait le contrôle (...)»" (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 30, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
(6) "When parental narcissism makes the satisfaction of parental needs a priority, the child becomes an object that is manipulated according to his fantasy (...) a thing at the disposal of parents. (...) the child must be considered « as a person and not as an object that is claimed in his personal interest » (a). The narcissistic parents (...) unfortunately are part into this last perspective." translated from french : "Quand le narcissisme parental inscrit comme priorité la satisfaction des besoins parentaux, l'enfant devient un objet que l'on manipule au gré de sa fantaisie (...) une chose à la disposition des parents. (...) l'enfant doit être considéré « comme une personne et non comme un objet que l'on revendique dans son intérêt affectif personnel » (a). Les parents narcissiques (...) s'inscrivent malheureusement dans cette dernière perspective." (Cf. Psychologie de la fonction parentale [Psychology of the parental function], Gérard Poussin, p. 90, Éditions Privat, Toulouse, 1993)
(a) La notion de paternité en droit [The concept of paternity in law], Catherine Labrusse, in Les pères d'aujourd'hui, p. 23, I.N.E.D., Paris, 1982
"Among the systematic manifestations of parental manipulation, we can note the tension that reigns at every family celebration, the way the parent does not welcome the joys and happiness of his children, and his attempt to keep them away from those who love them." translated from french : "Parmi les manifestations systématiques de la manipulation parentale, on peut noter la tension qui règne à chaque fête familiale, la façon qu’a le parent de ne pas accueillir les joies et bonheurs de ses enfants, ainsi que sa tentative d’éloigner ces derniers de ceux qui les aiment." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 6, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
"To frustrate his circle of acquaintances is one of main enjoyments of the manipulators." translated from french : "Frustrer son entourage est une des jouissances principales des manipulateurs." (Cf. Enfants de manipulateurs. Comment les protéger ? [Children of manipulators. How to protect them ?], Christel Petitcollin, p. 48, Éditions Guy Trédaniel, Paris, 2017)
"He feels (...) the enjoyment of the power of influence. He's looking for it at the expense of calm, happiness, shared joy and harmony… The narcissistic personality has the immense power to unbalance all this and create negative emotions in others in a few seconds ! (...) To gain strength himself narcissistically. Only to give herself the illusion, temporary (...), that she is superior to others, and this, even to her spouse and her own children…" translated from french : "Il ressent (...) la jouissance du pouvoir d’influence. Il la recherche au détriment du calme, du bonheur, de la joie partagée et de l’harmonie… La personnalité narcissique a l’immense pouvoir de déséquilibrer tout cela et de créer des émotions négatives chez autrui en quelques secondes ! (...) Pour se renforcer sur le plan narcissique. Uniquement pour se donner l’illusion, temporaire (...), qu’elle est supérieure aux autres, et ce, même vis-à-vis de son conjoint et de ses propres enfants…" (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 18, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
"The manipulators have an unconscious visceral need to create a disharmony in the family universe. "They feed on feelings of their victims, the fear, anxiety, sadness, anger. They don't support the happiness of others" translated from french : Les manipulateurs ont un besoin viscéral inconscient de créer une dysharmonie dans l'univers familial. "Ils se nourrissent des émotions de leurs victimes, la peur, l'anxiété, la tristesse, la colère. Ils ne supportent pas le bonheur des autres" (Cf. Isabelle Nazare-Aga, article Les pervers narcissiques, prédateurs impitoyables, Le Monde.fr, 26 mai 2012)
(7) "On all sides he commands, monitors and heads. Other and firm illusion : that of full ownership." translated from french : "De tous côtés il commande, surveille et dirige. Autre et ferme illusion : celle de toute propriété." (Cf. Les perversions narcissiques [Narcissistic perversions], Paul-Claude Racamier, p. 64, Payot, Paris, 2012)
(8) Live with a narcissistic perverse husband (Annex 3) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/the-perversity-of-my-husband.html
(9) "(...) hypernarcissistic parents often demand the visit of their adult offspring, but they do not necessarily realize that these moments spent together are very painful for their children." translated from french : "(...) les parents hypernarcissiques réclament souvent la visite de leur progéniture adulte, mais ils ne se rendent pas nécessairement compte que ces moments passés ensemble sont très pénibles pour leurs enfants." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 103, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
(10) "(...) I note that many, if not all, children of narcissistic perverts have done their utmost since childhood to change the attitudes of their toxic parent. In addition to the behaviour of appeasement of some, the verbal or written confrontations of others, the tears, the supplications, the cries, the failed or successful suicides, the separations, the threats, the warnings, removals or definitive breakdowns, none of these messages have reached their purpose : to make the parent in question aware that his general attitude of destruction must cease. Nothing made him change ! Fundamentally change…" translated from french : "(...) je constate que bon nombre, sinon tous les enfants de pervers narcissiques, ont fait leur maximum depuis leur enfance pour changer les attitudes de leur parent toxique. Outre les comportements d’apaisement des uns, les confrontations verbales ou écrites des autres, les pleurs, les supplications, les cris, les suicides ratés ou réussis, les séparations, les menaces, les avertissements, les éloignements ou les ruptures définitives, aucun de ces messages n’a touché son but : faire prendre conscience au parent en question que son attitude générale de destruction devait cesser. Rien ne l’a fait changer ! Fondamentalement changer…" (Ibid. p. 140)
(11) "I also maintain that they are incurables. At first, because they are not askers of change. The manipulators are very proud and very satisfied with what they are. Everybody is stupid except them, who understood everything of the life ! Then, because they have a system of thought locked in front of the self-criticism : they are perfected and everything is always of the fault of others." translated from french : "Je maintiens également qu'ils sont insoignables. D'abord, parce qu'ils ne sont pas demandeurs de changement. Les manipulateurs sont très fiers et très contents de ce qu'ils sont. Tout le monde est bête sauf eux, qui ont tout compris de la vie ! Ensuite, parce qu'ils ont un système de pensée verrouillé face à l'autocritique : eux sont parfaits et tout est toujours de la faute des autres." (Cf. Enfants de manipulateurs. Comment les protéger ? [Children of manipulators. How to protect them ?], Christel Petitcollin, p. 55, Éditions Guy Trédaniel, Paris, 2017)
(12) The "manipulator with the mask « nice » (...) speaks with ease (...) shows at times attentive to others, kind, active, alive and smiling. He proves efficient, qualified and intelligent. Concretely, it can be very orderly, have a lot of taste, good ideas, be good cook, be inventive or excellent handyman. (...) nevertheless without denying his undeniable qualities, it is obvious that these don't prevent the manipulation. On the contrary, they serve it ! The art of the friendly-looking manipulator consists precisely in hiding his tactic in the midst of perfectly acceptable and even desirable behaviors for any friendly, convivial, warm and full of complicity. His first objective : to put any unknown in his pocket." translated from french : Le "manipulateur au masque « sympathique » (...) parle avec aisance (...) se montre par moments attentif aux autres, gentil, actif, vivant et souriant. Il s’avère efficace, qualifié et intelligent. Concrètement, il peut être très ordonné, avoir beaucoup de goût, de bonnes idées, être bon cuisinier, être inventif ou excellent bricoleur. (...) Sans renier pour autant ses indéniables qualités, il est évident que celles-ci n’empêchent nullement la manipulation. Au contraire, elles la servent ! L’art du manipulateur à l’allure sympathique consiste justement à dissimuler sa manœuvre au milieu de comportements tout à fait acceptables et même souhaitables pour toute relation amicale, conviviale, chaleureuse et remplie de complicité. Son premier objectif : mettre tout inconnu « dans sa poche »." (Cf. Les manipulateurs sont parmi nous [The manipulators are among us], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 21, Éditions de l'Homme, 2013)
"For a narcissistic personality, in general, the function of the gift is not an appropriate expression of affection for others. The manipulator chooses quite consciously to give or not ; he chooses what to offer according to the narcissistic benefit that he will derive from it. He can easily “buy” strangers people to the immediate family. He buys his social image (...) He buys their availability, their subsequent services and their «good memories»." translated from french : "Pour une personnalité narcissique, en général, la fonction du cadeau n'est pas l'expression adaptée d'une affection pour autrui. Le manipulateur choisit tout à fait consciemment de donner ou pas ; il choisit quoi offrir selon le bénéfice narcissique qu'il en tirera. Il peut « acheter » facilement les gens étrangers à la famille proche. Il achète son image sociale (...) Il achète leur disponibilité, leurs services ultérieurs et leurs « bons souvenirs »." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 57, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
(13) "The manipulator is a deceitful and malicious person, but over any suspicions, if we have not the good grid of decoding of his behavior. As long as he is not identifed and that limits were not imposed to him, the manipulator enjoys a frightful impunity, which feeds and encourages his madness of omnipotence." translated from french : "Le manipulateur est une personne fourbe et malveillante, mais au-dessus de tous soupçons, si l'on a pas la bonne grille de décodage de ses comportements. Tant qu'il n'est pas repéré et cadré, le manipulateur jouit d'une impunité effroyable, qui alimente et encourage sa folie de toute-puissance." (Cf. Enfants de manipulateurs. Comment les protéger ? [Children of manipulators. How to protect them ?], Christel Petitcollin, p. p. 18-19, Éditions Guy Trédaniel, Paris, 2017)
"Manipulators, men or women, have the particularity of not showing their true faces when they are in society. On the other hand, their spouses and children live daily, and for many years, a silent trauma that causes, for most of them, physical symptoms, psychological and behavioural at first incomprehensible. Victims, moreover, tend to ask a lot of questions about themselves, whereas the problematic lies precisely in each other." translated from french : "Les manipulateurs, hommes ou femmes, ont la particularité de ne pas montrer leur vrai visage lorsqu’ils sont en société. En revanche, leurs conjoints et leurs enfants vivent au quotidien, et durant de longues années, un traumatisme sourd qui engendre, pour la plupart d’entre eux, des symptômes physiques, psychologiques et comportementaux tout d’abord incompréhensibles. Les victimes ont d’ailleurs tendance à se poser beaucoup de questions sur elles-mêmes, alors que la problématique réside justement chez l’autre." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 5, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
(14) "A manipulator parent is an objective danger for his children. The mental manipulation is a permanent psychological rape." translated from french : "Un parent manipulateur est un danger objectif pour ses enfants. La manipulation mentale est un viol psychologique permanent." (Cf. Enfants de manipulateurs. Comment les protéger ? [Children of manipulators. How to protect them ?], Christel Petitcollin, p. 226, Éditions Guy Trédaniel, Paris, 2017)
"Emotional violence is a paradoxical phenomenon because the person who is supposed to be a pole of security and emotional stability for the other person happens to be the same person who infuses to him a feeling of ill-being and suffering." translated from french : "La violence psychologique est un phénomène paradoxal car la personne censée être un pôle de sécurité et de stabilité affective pour l'autre se trouve être la même personne qui lui infuse un sentiment de mal-être et de souffrance." (Cf. La violence morale au quotidien, préface de Karen Sadlier, Éditions J. Lyon)
Quotes :
"Growing up with a manipulative parent is much different than loving one or living with one in your social or professional circle. For offspring, there is no “before” and “after” encounter with the toxic individual. In the course of his education, the child will be confronted with situations that will never be experienced by co-workers, neighbours, friends or even members of the manipulator’s extended family. The relationship with a manipulative parent is slowly maturing and is an integral part of the victim’s identity." translated from french : "Grandir avec un parent manipulateur est bien différent que d’en aimer un ou d’en côtoyer un dans son cercle social ou professionnel. Pour la progéniture, il n’y a pas un « avant » et un « après » la rencontre avec l’individu toxique. Au cours de son éducation, l’enfant sera confronté à des situations que ne vivront jamais les collègues de travail, les voisins, les amis et même les membres de la famille élargie du manipulateur. La relation avec un parent manipulateur est lentement mûrie et fait partie intégrante de l’identité de sa victime." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 8, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
"Intra-family moral violence creates a divide around its victims. Isolated by the violence, suffering from shame, convinced by the perpetrator of the violence that they are at fault, calling a third party to come to the aid becomes unthinkable for the victim." translated from french : "la violence morale intrafamiliale crée un fossé autour de ses victimes. Isolées par les violences, souffrant de la honte, convaincues par l'auteur des violences qu'elles sont en faute, appeler un tiers pour venir en aide devient impensable chez la victime." (Cf. La violence morale au quotidien, préface de Karen Sadlier, Éditions J. Lyon)
"The psychological ill-treatment was long-time appointed as the most wide-spread and the most destructive form with court as long-term. Indeed, the psychological violence has for characteristic to affect the representation of one and the feeling of his own value, what is strongly generative of sequelae." translated from french : "La maltraitance psychologique a été de longue date désignée comme la forme la plus répandue et la plus destructrice à court comme à long terme. En effet, la violence psychologique a pour caractéristique d'attaquer la représentation de soi et le sentiment de sa propre valeur, ce qui est fortement générateur de séquelles." (Cf. Enfants de manipulateurs. Comment les protéger ? [Children of manipulators. How to protect them ?], Christel Petitcollin, p. 171, Éditions Guy Trédaniel, Paris, 2017)
"The manipulators take their children [or certain close family] for confidants, even for shrinks and tell them all their « misfortunes», that is their stinginess, their frustrations and their projections paranoiacs. They complain continuously, pour out all their resentment, accuse the circle of acquaintances of being the source of their contrarieties." translated from french : "Les manipulateurs prennent leurs enfants [ou certains proches] pour des confidents, voire pour des psys et leur racontent tous leurs « malheurs », c'est-à-dire leurs mesquineries, leurs frustrations et leurs projections paranoïaques. Ils se plaignent en continu, épanchent toutes leurs rancœurs, accusent l'entourage d'être la source de leurs contrariétés." (Ibidem p. 52)
"Autonomy at all costs, which is too early, can lead to an affective deficiency in the child. The parent to the narcissistic personality often makes the mistake of assuming what I clearly call neglect. On the other hand, it is almost the opposite in the case of an only child ! (...) Thus, to gain in autonomy his only offspring, his possession, is not considered as an educational goal. This certainly represents too great a threat faced with loneliness (...). In short, negligence in one case : overprotection in the other one." translated from french : "L'autonomie à tout prix, exagérément précoce, peut générer une carence affective chez l'enfant. Le parent à la personnalité narcissique fait souvent l'erreur d'assumer ce que j'appelle clairement de la négligence. En revanche, c'est quasi l'inverse dans le cas d'un enfant unique ! (...) Ainsi, faire gagner en autonomie sa seule progéniture, sa possession, n'est pas considéré comme un objectif éducatif. Cela représente sûrement une trop grande menace face à la solitude (...). Bref, négligence dans un cas : surprotection dans l'autre." (Cf. Les parents manipulateurs [The manipulator parents], Isabelle Nazare-Aga, p. 53, Éditions de l'Homme, 2014)
"Overprotection is the opposite of protection and blocks the process of child empowerment." translated from french : "La surprotection est le contraire de la protection et bloque le processus d'autonomisation de l'enfant." (Cf. Psychologie de la fonction parentale [Psychology of the parental function], Gérard Poussin, p. 146, Éditions Privat, Toulouse, 1993)
Article "Survive family hell" :
The demencia of my mother (Annex 2) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/the-demencia-of-my-mother.html
The perversity of my husband (Annex 3) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/the-perversity-of-my-husband.html
My elder son : successor of manipulators (Annex 4) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2017/12/my-elder-son-successor-of-manipulators.html
My youngest son : successor of tyrant (annex 5)
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2018/11/my-youngest-son-successor-of-tyrant.html
My methods of safeguarding to protect my psyche (annex 6) :
To free itself from the influence of the manipulators (annex 7) :
- Learn to recognize a manipulative person (annex 8) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2018/10/learn-to-recognize-a-manipulative-person-4.html
- When the sport becomes a real therapy ! (annex 9) :
https://la-veritable-lumiere.over-blog.com/2018/10/when-the-sport-becomes-a-real-therapy.html
Article written by Cristina Casado
/fdata%2F4126375%2Favatar-blog-1195514333-tmpphpY8FW86.jpeg){kind=avatar}